As a working mother of two, I’m usually feeling guilty about some aspect of my parenting pretty much all the time. One of my gripes, and a common source of family rows, is the constant request by my kids to play on my iPhone, watch TV or play Lego StarWars on the PlayStation. Media stories, school meetings and other parents have made me well aware of the ‘damage’ these activities can cause – obesity through lack of exercise, under developed language skills and lack of concentration to name but a few. As a result, I’ve been fairly strict on the amount of time my kids are allowed to spend in front of a screen, but from the way they sometimes badger me you really would think they’re used to spending 10 hours a day on these devices and that I’ve suddenly made them go cold turkey.
In the last couple of weeks, there have been a few stories in the news which have merely served to deepen my guilt and strengthen my resolve to keep my kids’ digital habits under close supervision. One in particular was a study of US parents released last week by CommonSense media. It revealed the ‘shocking’ digital habits of families today, but for me, it read like a checklist of bad behaviours to mark myself against:
- In 40 percent of homes, the TV is on virtually all the time – Phew, I easily get a tick here, my kids rarely watch TV in the week.
- Almost a third of children under two have a TV in their bedroom – Another tick for me, and I don’t think I’ll even consider it until my kids are teenagers.
- Half of kids under eight have access to a mobile device (smartphone, video iPod, iPad etc) – Hmm, I definitely fall into that category. And there’s no doubt in my mind that my compulsive checking of emails on my iPhone is a habit that my kids must have noticed and will mimic soon.
- Half of families with incomes above $75,000 download apps specifically for their young children – Yes, guilty as charged. It’s a sure-fire way of keeping your cranky kids quiet at the end of an evening meal out, so you have an extra 30 mins of adult conversation with your friends. As with other parents, I often opt for more of the ‘educational’ apps in a vain attempt to ease my guilt.
Exposure to these devices has resulted in my six year old child already commanding an impressive digital repertoire. He flicks through the TV EPG and Sky+ effortlessly, he wirelessly synchs my iPod to the speaker to blast out Taio Cruz Dynamite (he has his own playlist) and he searches for and then watches ‘Best Football Goals Ever’ videos via You Tube on his Grandpa’s iPad. Nearly all of these skills he’s grasped through observational and experimental learning. We haven’t taught him how to do this stuff – he, like other kids his age, just picks it up effortlessly.
The reality is that, yes, I do worry a lot about the impact of technology on my kids, but as the saying goes: ‘everything in moderation’. As long as we make sure our kids love the outdoors, do lots of sport, adore books and stories, hang out with their friends and have quality time with their family, then in an average week they shouldn’t have hours and hours to fill with digital antics.
And, despite my parental neuroticism, I am glad our kids have an affinity for technology. Having worked in the IT industry with some of the best technology brands in the world for the last 15 years, I appreciate the opportunities that will be available to my children, assuming they are digitally-savvy. All we have to do now is convince them that a career in IT will be much more rewarding than pursuing a career as a professional footballer or as a contestant on XFactor.
I share your guilt Emma. I must admit, though, that the thing I worry about most is not the impact that my children’s digital obsession will have on them, but the impact that MY digital obsession will have on them.
I recently challenged myself to only check my iphone at certain times of the day and found that I could not do it. I need to find a way of managing this or they will grow up thinking I am more interested in a small piece of technology and an ipad than I am in them!